{New Day}

Some days my runs suck.  On those days every single step feels hard, and a 30 minute run feels like an hour.


While I am thankful that those days have been few and far between this training go 'round, when they do hit it's hard for me to feel good about my running ability and it plants seeds of doubt in my mind.  Unfortunately this is what happened yesterday.

I left work at 6 pm and headed straight to the gym to go running.  Since I was supposed to run for 2 hours I decided on a treadmill run a) because it would be dark by the time I finished, and b) my legs were still talking to me from Saturday's ride.  Yes, I know it's easier to run on a treadmill than it is to run outside, but since I was supposed to start tapering yesterday and I was a day behind on my last long run it seemed like the best option.

Immediately I could feel the strain in my legs.  They weren't aching but they were tired from my Saturday ride and after what felt like 30 minutes I lifted my towel to see what the time was and all I saw was 20 minutes.  I was defeated and frustrated.  I thought, "if this is what 30 minutes into my 2 hour run feels like I'm never going to make it."

I slowed the pace down but not slower than anything that wouldn't let me reach at least 5 miles and forced myself to go until the treadmill slowed on it's own indicating an hour had elapsed.  An hour that felt like 2.  I started walking then jogging what I thought would be my next hour of treadmill time, but after a mile I bagged it.  I couldn't bring myself to do more.  Sad, I know.  It's the week of my race and I can't make myself motivated enough to put another hour in.  I left the gym annoyed and overly sweaty, thankful to be going home.

Today as I look back on a sucky run, I am disappointed I allowed myself to get so frustrated and for an unfun run to work me up so badly.  I was cranky and irritable until after dinner, and some delicious froz yog, that in my annoyance I had completely forgotten what a rockin' swim I had done earlier at lunch.  1.2 miles in 40 minutes, y'all!

I write all this to say to you, and to myself, don't let the bad runs ruin your sunny days, or any of your days for that matter.  My new goal, and especially for Sunday's race is this: when the race starts to become unfun, when I'm tired, and hungry, and don't feel like smiling, I'm going to choose joy, and love myself for competing, for running, for not growing weary.  Will you join me?


Yeah, I may have failed at this yesterday, but today is a new day, and tomorrow's new too.  Join me in the journey to choose joy.

1 comment:

  1. You're awesome! You're going to do great, I'm so proud of you!!

    ReplyDelete

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