{Newlywed: A State of Mind}

It's the wekeend, y'all!  Praise the LORD we made it through another week.  This week felt especially long since I only had a 3 1/2 day week last week.  Nevertheless, it's Friday.  WOOHOO!

A coworker asked me yesterday if I was still a newlywed to which I responded, "Yes!  Well sort of!  It's been a year on September 1st."  He responded by saying, "Well, I guess you're not really a newlywed really, maybe?"  I countered with, "Well, I'm going to be a newlywed forever.  It's really just a state of mind, right?"  He agreed and noted he liked my response.

This made me look at my blog yesterday under the "About Us" section and it got me thinking about the title of my blog and what's written in the About Us section.

"We're newlyweds embracing our exciting new adventure, trying new recipes, loving our border collies, making new friends, trying to be crafty, learning to see each other through kind and patient eyes, and to be joyful in all circumstances."

Is it wrong to want to stay NewlyNabors forever?  Because honestly, I'm kind of thinking there would be nothing wrong with having a newlywed mindset forever.  Think about it.  Everything is an adventure from grocery shopping to pet adoption to rearranging your home, sharing an income (hey, I didn't say every adventure is fun), planning a future, finding a church home, trying recipes, finding your favorite local spots, taking trips together, and the list goes on and on.  I like the fact that I almost daily learn something new about Ryan, about myself, about what I want out of life, and I like knowing that Ryan and I will share all of that.  When I talk about college, some of the sweetest memories I have include Ryan because that's where we started.  What a gift that my whole life will be like that from September 1st, 2012 on... perhaps really September 1, 2007.

It seems like there's a lot of innocence that comes with being newlyweds, too.  You have moments of pure bliss, you are careful to say things that might offend one another, you accept some things that later in your marriage might drive you crazy (cleanliness, sharing the workload around the house, etc), you are mortified that you share a bathroom and do your best to make sure neither of your bodily functions, monthly needs, or anything that you'd rather remain a mystery come to light, you laugh at things together, you are forced to learn one another's preferences like who likes to talk in the morning and who will glare at you if you speak to them before 15 minutes of silence, and you apologize and seek forgiveness quickly.

"Don't go in the bathroom!"
Why can't things just stay so simple?  At some point or another, the innocence and newness of the marriage, and the honeymoon stage, seems to disintegrate right before your eyes.  I know I'm guilty of letting things from my day get in the way of seeing Ryan through kind and patient eyes.  Is it fair?  Absolutely not.  Do I regret some of the biting things I say when I'm tired?  Absolutely.  I even embarrassingly acknowledge that I have had more tolerance, patience, and compassion for strangers some days than my own spouse.  #fail  So, why not allow myself to live in the constant state of seeing him through the eyes of love and compassion?  Because I am an imperfect person who needs a heaping dose of grace on a daily basis.  I'm sorry Ry, I'm trying, and I love you.
I also know that my imperfect self is in need of a perfect Savior I have to choose daily to pick up my cross and follow.  I was telling my sweet friend Adair this morning that I genuinely feel like a kinder, more patient and understanding person when I spend time with Jesus.  Additionally, I have to continue to remind myself that my happiness does not come from Ryan.  Yes, he makes me unbelievably happy, but at times when I am disappointed in our relationship or when I let my emotions run my day, I strive to remember that my joy comes from Christ alone.  I mentioned this quote before when I talked about communicating respect, but I love it so much I want you to hear it again.

"In contrast to happiness stands joy.  Running deeper and stronger, joy is the quiet, confident assurance of God's love and work in our life - that He will be there no matter what.  Happiness depends on happenings, but joy depends on Christ."

Here's to deciding to remain a NewlyNabors forever.  No one said it had to last just one year.

1 comment:

  1. annnnd this is why I'm glad I met you. :) positive, realistic, and awesome!


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